I’ve never been known to be the most observant person. In fact my mom likes to remind me how she could almost hide something right under my nose and I would still be looking high and low for it.
I would like to think that I have become a little more aware and observant as I have aged. Then I’ll have someone say ‘I was driving right behind you, didn’t you see me?’. Ummm no, sorry, try beeping and waving your arms out the window, I’m sure to see you then.
So when I read the message on prayer here, The Ugly Truth About My Prayer Life, I thought, well at least he is honest and that’s really what it is about if you want to change something. I’ll say a prayer for him.
Then, my husband found some old papers in our barn with the Lord’s Prayer written out. We bought our house from a dear lady who has taught Sunday School forever, or so it would seem. As I began to look through the papers, my mouth fell open as I recognized the names, they were kids I knew, way back when we were about 10 maybe, wish there was a date on them.
Look what was on the bottom on the pile:
Can you barely believe it? What are the odds? Well, they are about 100% if God is trying to get your attention. But, like I said, I'm not the quickest when things are not spelled out.
There was also one written by my best friend Tammy. She died when she was only 19. Just holding her paper gave me a smile. I think I would like to frame it for her mother. What a nice trip down memory lane. How nice to have these to look at.
So I put them on the shelf and went about my day. I still couldn’t connect the dots.
Well my Pastor sure knows how to hit someone over the head with a message : )
Can you guess what his message was on? Yes, the message was on prayer.
And as I sat there thinking about my own prayer life, I was left was some shame and guilt. To be completely honest.
There’s one particular area in my life that I have stopped praying for and about. Why, when that is the area that needs the most prayer? To be honest, again, I’m ashamed to admit I don’t think it will help and I feel guilty praying when I’m not even sure I really want to pray about this situation anymore.
Yes, I really believe that God can do the impossible, that he can move the mountain. But why doesn’t he? Again, just being honest.
I know logically what the reasons are or could be, and then again He is God and He could have his own reasons in which I know nothing about. I mean really He doesn’t have to have his reasons fit into my logic. Which stinks!!!
I can see through certain things that have happened in my life that I am now in a place closer to God than I have ever been before and I also recognize how much further I have to go.
So for now, I will continue to pray and be honest with God, even when it’s not pretty, even when I would rather say ‘I’m doing ok’.
In God’s Love, sheila