GOD, Me, Him, and Them

The First Day of School

2010-09-09T13:33:00.000-04:00

First day of school…I had such great plans for this day…been planning for a week now. Special breakfast, healthy afterschool snack and stuffed shells for dinner, because that’s the kind of mom I am.

I was so excited for the kids and they were too. They really do enjoy school. So their backpacks are ready, clothes set out, including shoes. None of them seemed nervous. Not even Tommy, even though it was going to be his first day in Kindergarten, and Abby was going into Fifth Grade, that’s practically full-time middle school.

I was very blessed to be able to take the day of this year. I was excited. Got up extra early, spent some time in prayer for each one, made some hot biscuits with jelly on top, (ok, actually the biscuits were from the night before, but I did put them in the oven with jelly on top.) I just wanted things to be so perfect.

As fate would have it, in what was almost an attempt to mess with my perfect day, I left my memory chip at work. But I found my spare chip at home. That was a close one.

Oh yeah, I will have to admit, I was feeling rather proud of myself and all that I had accomplished… and would accomplish as the day progressed.

A simple foreshadowing: When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2.

Got the first day of schools photos:

There were smiles and hugs and well wishes given. Wow ~ we all made it through. What a great feeling. Now unto some errands I had planned and there would even be time for Owen & Mommy to have lunch together.

So having been to Wal-Mart and grocery shopping, I began to run a little behind, no Panera’s for us…it would have to be McDonalds – to go – but I would at least get him a Happy Meal..that’s a special treat. As we stand at the counter, I let Owen in on the secret and he is just tickled looking over the toy he may get. It’s now about 20 after 11 and I'm thinking of the kids…and lunch….and the kids….HOLY CRAP, (sorry, sometimes it’s just warranted), my hand flies to my mouth and I stand there realizing….I did not send Tommy to school with any lunch or any lunch money.

What the heck….trying not to panic or cry at the McDonald’s counter…I think of all my options, I don’t even know what time his lunch is. So I quickly get out of line and call the school. The girls have given me horror stories about kids who do not bring money for lunch. ‘The school has to feed them, so they get a cheese sandwich with ‘probably’ the crust of the bread and whole milk.’ Oh, no, not on his first day…the teacher has probably already gone over the cafeteria procedure and what is Tommy thinking.

The office says he can charge for today and bring in the money tomorrow. I didn’t even ask anything more, the trauma was getting to be too much. Oh, how I had fallen. I hand Owen his Happy Meal and grab my coffee and home to take care of the groceries. Still a little shaken up over this whole lunch situation.

How could I of let this happen…and then I began to think, I don’t remember anyone mentioning what they were doing for their child’s lunch. It had not been the topic of conversation on Facebook or in any chit chat I had heard. Not even any commercials, well I don’t watch them so maybe that doesn’t count. Surely, if there had been, I would have given it a thought or two. I begin to slightly remember thinking about it for the girls. I knew they had money on their account from last year, I know this because it was the last week of school that I had to send in money. But Tommy never crossed my mind.

So as I begin to shift the blame from me to you, I realize that I’m just doing the best I can. I am not Wonder Women..haha…I am not Perfect Mom….hopefully I will feed my children everyday or at least make provisions for them. But, if I do not, they will not be scarred or have lasting baggage that they will carry for the rest of their lives. I've been humbled, now let the wisdom set in.

And as Tommy got off the bus full of smiles and hugs, we walk up the driveway and I ask him about his day, his head drops down and he says ‘I had pizza for lunch, you didn’t send any money and now I owe the lady.’ Oh that kid knows how to get to me, lol.

I hope everyone's first day went as well as mine.

In God's Love, sheila

Refresh 2010

2010-07-14T14:02:00.000-04:00

Countdown is on.....can't wait. Hoping Sondra has the baby before or after...just please, not during.

My Baby

2010-07-08T08:52:00.001-04:00

March 2010 (apparently I never posted this)

I went shopping Friday night after work. I was so excited. It's been a long, long time since I have been shopping and I got to go baby shopping. My neice is having a baby girl and I love, love, love looking at itty, bitty pink baby clothes. Oh, my it was fun. (and oh my she is beautiful, Baby Bear is what we call her).

And Daddy was on duty.

The kids love being home with him and always look forward to hanging out and things I think tend to be a little more laxed than when Mommy is home.

I called home to say HI and thank you for giving me the evening to myself (and now (JULY) I think this may have been the last time) and there was some tension in Pat's voice. So, I quickly decide how much information I want, if it's too much, I may have to come home early. I ask what's up and he mentions MY BABY broke the toilet. Not that he is using it yet, but somehow thought 'his guys', Luke Skywalker and Jedi, etc., wanted to go swimming and now they were somewhere between here and there. Yikes, I sound very symphatic, but would it help for me to come home early, nay. So, I wish him well and continue shopping. Toilet is all better, and Owen continues to tell me 'I'm sorry I broke your toilet Mommy.' Very sweet and loving. I believe him.

Saturday Pat gets the toilet fixed and all is forgotten.

Fast-forward to Monday (two days later) I come home from work and walk into the bedroom to find my floor litered with peanuts, OWEN.....Then I hear Pat ask Owen if he told Mommy about the hot chocolate. Apparently, Pat turned his back on Owen for just a few minutes and Owen decided to get two packages of hot chocolate out. Now I was wise enough not to ask if he made a mess or ate any of it. I didn't seen any reason to go there, what difference would it make.

What's gotten into my baby. He does remind me that he's not a baby, but a Big Boy. (now, he is back to saying 'Momma, I am your baby', Yep, Owen you are my baby and why rush things)

and then he looks at me like this:

What's a Mommy to do?

Do We 'Really' Need More Space?

2010-06-29T09:58:00.001-04:00

I'm really not struggling with the thought of whether or not we should be adding more room onto our house, which is probably a good thing seeings how we have plunked down a whole lot of money for materials and quite a few people have given alot of their time and skills to help us accomplish this. Which is actually really beginning to look like an addition.

I knew, even before finances were in place and plans for the addition were made, that the back of the house would be filled in, someday, somehow. I clearly remember being outside, walking around the yard praying and thanking God for all He had done. I mean, we now owned a house...that was huge.

Let me go back a bit, when we first started praying about a house and talking serious about it, we very clearly knew what we could and wanted to spend, or more accurately what type of monthly payments we could manage. So, as it goes, you talk with a realtor and they say you can be approved for almost double what your willing to spend. Thankfully, though, we had thought about this first and knew what number we were willing to live with. And so, this limited our search greatly, lol.

I don't think our realtor understood that while we were eager to find a home, we were not eager to be stressed with a mortgage payment. I think he might have been scary us or at the best letting us know, what we were looking for, was not going to be found. He showed us houses that had been sitting for two or more years, ones that the foundations were uneven or had had water damage or my favorite was the house that had a notice on the door 'Buyer accepts all risk'.

We continued to pray and trust God would show us where we were to be and He did not let us down. We found a small house, close to our church, in the school district we wanted with a big, really big yard and in our price range. We have now lived in our little house for five years. Our two boys have been born here and we have outgrown our little house. The children are getting bigger and need some quiet time, some time to be by themselves, some time not to be apart of the chaos and confusion that ends up right in our living room.

So yesterday we were all in the house, all except for Serena. I called for her outside and then went out to find her having her own quiet time, private time, boys cannot find me time.

Do you know the girl had with her bug spray, her purse, her book she was reading and a watch hanging on one of the branches. She had actually decorated. I don't know, to be honest and don't fault me on this, exactly how long she had been out there, up there. But she sure did look comfortable and peaceful.

So, if you come to my door and the kids are running a muck and no one looks like their in charge, you might just want to check out the tree in our side yard, I may or may not be swinging from a branch.

In God's Love, sheila

Stranger On The Bus

2010-03-30T15:14:00.000-04:00

About a month ago my van needed some work and I was fortunate to be able to take a bus to work. Certainly not from my home, but then we don't live in a city and we like it that way.

Now, it became clear to me that when I mentioned I would be riding the bus, others did not exactly think I was fortunate. But I was really kind of excited about it. That doesn't make me weird, does it?

I have only taken a bus once in my life and did not even get to finish going to my destination. To prove I could really do it on my own, if needed. I mean its not like I am the most 'street wise' person, but I'm not naive either. So there I was taking a bus from the airport in Orlando, FL to Sanford, FL. I had never been to FL before much less Sanford and I now that I think about it, I’m not sure I had an address with me (I must of though, right?). I did have a cell phone and money however. Well, it turns out my mom had went to the airport to pick me up (not that she called, remember I had a cell phone) but did get a hold of me on the bus and drove to one of the bus stops along the way to pick me up. So much for my independence.

But, back to my story. I was able to drop off the van at the garage and walk to the bus stop. Pat gave me all sorts of good advice, don’t talk to strangers, keep your purse in front of you, and don’t sit your drink down. Clearly he has ridden on many different buses, but we won't go there.

I’m not alone though, Sondra is going with me. She takes the bus twice a week, not at 8:00 in the morning though, but she at least knows the driver and the fees and the fact that they don’t give change. This is a good to know.

The bus arrives right on time, 8:05 and it’s packed, no seats left except for completely in the back, so in we squeeze. The man on my right is busily writing words on a napkin on top of his Spiderman lunch box. He is older, probably 50ish, with thick glasses and a hook for a hand. No, I'm not kidding.

Pat’s words are running through my head…don’t talk to strangers.... don’t talk to strangers…. don’t talk to strangers……

Hi, I say waiting for him to respond. He looks at me and sheepishly says hi and goes back to what he is doing. He is concentrating very hard.

As the bus starts to go, he then tells me all he has written. I tell him what a great job he is doing and he puts his head on my shoulder and says ‘I like you’. (Pat’s words are running through my head…don’t talk to strangers.)

But I think ‘what a sweet man’. Sondra looks at me and starts laughing, thinking I have gotten quite the admirer. So I tell him thank you and it’s then that I realize he has Down Syndrome.

I try to hold my tears back but my eyes are filling up. I pray a silent prayer, ‘Lord, give me strength not to break down here, in front of Sondra and strangers’.

So I quickly begin to talk and make a few jokes and again the man next to me looks at me so sweetly, his smile goes all the way across his face and he says, ‘Your very nice’ and lays his head on my shoulder and leaves it there for a minute.

Well, that does it, the tears spill over and Sondra looks at me, so I quietly say, I think he has Down Syndrome, she looks and her eyes well up, and she starts to laugh, saying ‘thanks a lot Sheila, I have make up on you know.’ I spent the rest of the time making small talk with him and a few of his friends.

Who knew?? Who knew, but God, that I would get on a bus with men and women on their way to work at Opportunities Unlimited. Who knew, but God, the only seat available would be next to a sweet man who held all the same characteristics of my sweet nephew Davon. Who knew, but God, that this sweet reminder was what I needed.

It only took about 15 minutes to get there and I so did not want it to end. But there we were, what could I do, I couldn’t exactly hug him, so I rummage in my bag and pull out some stickers to give him. He is so happy with them. He says goodbye and I wonder if I’ll ever ride the bus again.

Well, yesterday I needed to be to work early and the only way was to ride the bus. I wonder if my friend will be there. This time I am riding solo, but I’m not scared. I get on the bus and there he is, waving and smiling at me, and there’s an empty spot right next to him. This time I notice that he is copying the words from the bus stop, so I don’t say much until the bus starts going. He quickly lays his head on my shoulder (as if to say he remembers me) and continues to smile. I ask him about work and he tells me he likes to go to work and to work with his friends.

Not too sure what he believes or if he knows a special day is coming up; I ask him if he is going to go to church on Easter ‘oh, yes’ he says. His friend behind us yells out ‘Church, I’m not going to church and waves his hand in the air’. (This makes me laugh a little) While my new friend shakes his head and says ‘I’m going to church, I like going to church’. Oh, Lord, please let me not have started a fight. But, it is quickly forgotten and we talk about the nice weather and taking walks.

I sit on the bus looking around at the men and women, some happy and carefree, others grumpy and disagreeable. Each one of them have a story. Each one was created for a reason. Not to be forgotten, lost, or looked down upon. But to be loved, encouraged and befriended; the same as me. I’m very glad that I was able to take the bus to work and so thankful that God chose to bless me with a new friend. My friend’s name is Bruce.

In God's Love, sheila

What Difference Do It Make?

2010-03-24T12:14:00.000-04:00

First let me recommend a book called 'Same Kind of Difference As Me'.

Wow, a great book that had me doing alot of thinking. Thinking about was I making a difference, am I doing the things I know the Lord is telling each of us to do. I was underlining and highlighting for days.

So then Pat brings me home from the library 'What Difference Do It Make'? It's the follow-up. Wasn't that thoughtful and insightful of him. Very impressive.

I was very eager to begin reading and as I was reading through it, I was at times embarrassed, encouraged and hopeful. It was good and I was enjoying it.

Then, almost at the end, I read this:

'A troublesome thought formed at the edge of my mind: was I so shallow, my do-gooding so superficial, that I could only set judging aside and help a person as long as his/her sinis didn't affect me?'

Well....there's something to think about. CRAP (can I say that?) UGHHH.....There's somthing poking me, prodding me, to NOT skip over that.

Lord knows I want my heart to be right, I want to love others as he does...I want to be the women he created me to be...Lord help me, help me to see everyone through your eyes, help me to love everyone regardless of choices, decisions, and lifestyles. Lord you know the struggle, help me to me more like you.

In God's Love, sheila

One Day Before Spring

2010-03-19T10:59:00.004-04:00

Just realized I never shared some of our Winter Fun with ya, now that Winter has officially only one day left; I better hurry.

You see I have a good friend who wanted to take some photos of the wonderful, snow-filled ravine and waterfalls (Akron Falls). Great shots, well it would have been if she hadn’t of petered out on me the day of. But what do you do when you’ve told four children they were going to go sledding. Well, you still go and take lots of fuzzy, out-of-focus pictures and have a great time. And all's forgiven, plus I did get some great shots. Well, I at least got some good shots.

This is my favorite

Now, let me tell you my husband is NOT a snow-type person. If he were to have his way, we would live in the AZ desert. I could not even imagine what that dryness would do to my skin, I usually need this time to recover from the summer sandals. But not too worry, we aren’t moving on out anyway. I'm sure the Lord will wait until the addition is finished.

So, the first hurdle, keeping gloves on Owen’s hands. Pat stays far away from this, too stressful trying to keep five fingers straight while simultaneously pulling a glove on. The logistics of this really uses the right side of the brain so Pat wasn't really going to win anyway and has decided Owen would do just fine with a pair of mittens. Another reason why God created Mommies...

Then when we first get there the girls take Tommy straight to the pond area only to bring he back wet and smiling. Why, why would they do that. One or two reasons come to mind: either they don't know him as well as I do or they were trying to see how fast Tommy can get in trouble. Like that needs testing. Thankfully, the jacket and pants were waterproof and he didn't complain, because we just got there and the fun had not even started and there was no way I was going to get Pat to come back on another day. This is a once-a-winter event.

We went down a few times before the hike. I took Owen down once and the snow was sprinkling in our face; he did not like it, not one little bit. So then we hiked and it was beautiful, and serene. Everything was heavy with snow and the kids loved it and so did I.

After our hike we went back to sledding. Now don’t feel bad for us, we can actually afford sleds and have a couple of the blow up ones, but I’m pretty sure if we would of brought them, someone would of ended up in the creek. We were flying down that closed road with our Hefties.

So then it was back to sledding, Pat decided to take Owen to the playground.

But then we got Pat to find his inner child and he had so much fun.

He even got Owen to go back down with him.

Sledding is exhausting!!!

But we are so glad to make these memories.

In God's Love, sheila

Life Of Moses

2010-03-08T15:43:00.004-05:00

We had some fun times last night at KidZone. We had challenged our Youth to a Bible Trivia on the Life of Moses.

Some of my favorite quotes (from IMPACT, Youth Group):

‘I can’t believe I just got beat by a girl’

‘I’m just going to sit down, I have no idea’

‘Hey, that’s a trick question’

Listing the 10 commandments, I asked if she wanted to start over, her reply, ‘No, that won’t even help.’

'I was 1/2 right'

‘Is that even in the Bible?’

Our Youth were such great sports. KidZone had been learning about Moses for over six weeks and were prepared. I don’t think IMPACT knew just how prepared they were going to be but they handled it great.

It seems the win sparked some interest to go against the adults of our church. I’m still going with the kids, but I’m sure it will be much closer.

Here's a few pictures from the other night:

KidZone
vs.
Impact

The fun is just beginning...

Mary scored the first point, they were on a roll

The very next round, it didn't last

They thought they knew....

At this point, they were really just trying to hit the bell first

FINAL SCORE
KidZone 29 1/2

Impact 8 1/2

Studying Moses has been so rewarding and fasinating. As the series was ending, I was feeling a little sad, the life of Moses is truly an amazing story of faith. My favorite part is the last part, where God had Moses go to the top of Mount Nebo and look out at the land, the Promised Land. What awe...I think of the birth of my first daughter; I knew it was going to be good (becoming a mother), but I had no idea how good it was truly going to be and I spent the entire first night awake in awe of just how perfect and awe-struck I was. More than I even deserved.

At this point, Moses was completely at peace with the fact that he was not going to enter, I am sure he spent hours laughing at the richness of the land, hours praising God and saying 'I had no idea it was going to be this great.'

This week two wonderful, faithful members of our church went home to be with our Lord. I would like to think, as they stood there, their reaction may be the same.

In God's Love, sheila

Communication Between a Husband and Wife

2010-02-19T12:28:00.000-05:00

The communication differences between a husband and wife are enough sometimes to make me crazy…

Because what comes out of my mouth and into his ears somehow is not always the same. Seriously, is my head spinning because at times I feel like it is going to pop right off (and I have asked Pat this).

How can that happen you ask? It all has something to do with the X and Y chromosome, mostly the Y though (I’m pretty sure) and I won’t go any further with that because that’s all I really understand about it.

More than this though is understanding how each one of us process our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I tend to talk fast and much information is thrown out in hopes that one or two ideas will sound good. I call this brainstorming. Pat call’s it mindboggling.

While sometimes I have changed plans four times on Pat and not really understanding why he is not with the program. My thoughts evolve like a well-defined flowchart (or so I think) and end up with a grand plan that is sure to work out for everyone. So imagine my dismay when not everyone is with me.

More times than I care to be honest about it leaves me frustrated. My frustration can be seen by my quietness (only purposely banging a pan or slamming a door is hardly quiet, is it) or overreacting to the cats or the pile of laundry that has sat there and in now on my last nerve. Or, even more embarrassing is my shortness with the little ones in the house.

But we are growing as a family….I am learning to become more flexible and to respect how differently Pat and I deal and process things.

I can share this with you because Pat said I could and I asked (which is ok and not sexist at all, only there was a time when I thought it was, but that just shows how God is changing me and I needed changing).

The other night when we got home, I rushed to get dinner because I had a meeting and Pat was going to play basketball. We had almost an hour. So about 5 minutes before it was time to go, I poked my head in the living room and asked Pat if he was going to be ready. Pat does not like to be rushed. But here he was getting rushed and was not handling it the best. There were some grumbling and complaints made underbreath along with a remark about the macaroni & cheese (I occassionly forget the butter, but he wasn’t eating anyway…). So after we get in the van I ask why he is angry with me or at the least taking it out on me…..

And he was right when he said that I should not take things so personal (except for the macaroni & cheese comment that was definitely all me), but that he was upset that he didn’t pay attention to the time and (I may have stopped listening at this point, the roads were bad and I had to concentrate : )

After I dropped him off, with much tension still between us, I am learning to not react to his actions. I sure could of given it back to him but his grumpiness is his grumpiness.

So imagine my wonderful surprise when I picked him up after my meeting and he apologized and explained why he was grumpy. Short on time, hungry, he was not telling me excuses, but reasons and there is a difference.

Many may not understand this, but something this small could (and has) grown into a 3-5 day argument, where there is almost no end in sight. But, we are working on our communication and our marriage as a whole.

So, put that together with me not reacting and Pat being able to be alone (I wouldn’t guess there was a whole lot of meaningful conversation going on during basketball) and he was able to process what he was feeling and how he reacted and shared it with me.

He certainly could have gotten in the van and pretended it never happened and went about our business. But we no longer want to sweep things under the rug, eventually it piles up and we trip on it and fall flat on our face. Been there, done it.

So with God’s word as our guide and our obedience to it, I am praying our marriage will stand the test of time and we can model for our children a healthy, happy marriage; the way God intended it to be.

Thank you for everyone who has prayed for us as a couple and individually it really means so much to us.

In God’s Love, sheila

Time For A Vacation

2010-02-10T12:03:00.001-05:00

I think February is the perfect month for a vacation. Not that our winter has been very bad this year. But I am getting cabin fever ~ Big Time.

This time last year we were heading out to Georgia, Tybee Island to be exact. What a great time, a time for rest, reflection and a little healing.

One of the best things, I discovered about choosing this particular spot to vacation at, was there was not a whole lot to do. Which is just what my family needed. Of course, Savannah, was just 20 minutes away and there was plenty to do there. But, we spent much time on the island. Walking the beach, going into the small shops, taking the kids to the park and lighthouse. Time for rest and reflection.

In no time at all we were able to settle into the cute little 2-bedroom cottage we rented. A stone's throw from the beach. (Almost forgot, it came with a DISHWASHER....I've never been so excited to clean-up after my family.)

I had to explain to Tommy
why it's not a good idea to get soaked, even if it was 60 degrees. It is still FEBRUARY. Of course the locals thought we were crazy, but said they could always tell who is from above the Mason-Dixon line. (forgot that term from school).

We did spend alot of time on the beach walking. If you look closely, you'll notice the kids had taken off their shoes. Of course, why not, it's the beach. It was shortly after this that we were taking the kids into the shops and discovered somewhere along the 3 miles of beach Tommy had lost one of his sandals. Gotta love Pat, he actually had a thought of going and looking for it. We just opted to buy him a new pair. If you have ever been on vacation at the off season, you know you can get a pair of sandals $2.00

This was only a year ago, look how much Owen has changed.

We love to travel. There are so many places we would love to see and take the kids too. But, I haven't decided whether it is better to continue going to the same places or hop all over the United States, my theory is:

after you've been there, done it, that's when the resting and vacationing really takes place. If you've only been somewhere once (Myrtle Beach, New Orleans) you tend to want to try everything and see everything. It's makes coming home a vacation.

then there are places we have been to a handful of times (Ocean City, NJ) and we can take our time (even visit with family) it's ok that we didn't go to the zoo, aquarium, Atlantic City, boardwalk, etc...

This is my much younger brother Andrew. The kids loved playing with him.

And I think he enjoyed it too.

Grandma Debie and Grandpa

There's my Aunt Rose hiding in the corner as the boys maul Andrew.

Here's a group of new friends and old.

So I think before we plan our vacations, we need to spend some time in prayer and really think about we want out of our vacation. I think for the most part many of us just use the word vacation to mean going some place where we can cram as much as possible into the same 24 hours God gave us yesterday and expect to feel rejuvinated, rested, and stress-free. Doesn't happen.

Do we want to sight-see, make it super fun for the kids (Disney World, Splash Lagoon), or do we need a rest. Do we need to focus on our relationships with each other and God? Either vacation is good, but we should realize that we probably can't have both. At least not in a week's time.

I do feel strongly about family vacations. It is one of my happiest memories growing up. My Grandparents would take all of us, I even remember my Uncle coming one year, to Lyndsey, Ontario (Canada) for a week of fishing and we would stay at the 'Little House'. A small cabin we rented for the week. There would be campfire songs at night and another couple would be there year after year and we looked forward to seeing our new friends just for that week.

My children look forward to two events in the summer: Houghton Family Camp and camping in Evangola.

But, back to the I HAVE CABIN FEVER NOW, summer seems so far away. Can I last that long? Does everyone need more than just a summer vacation? Perhaps it is just the ones that live in WNY that deserve some sunshine somewhere around Feb. or March. I do have a week off in April, I know I am lucky to have that off (can you believe the kids are not off the same week, ugh), but with our addition still in the works, it doesn't look too realistic to be going away.

What are your favorite vacations or memories as a child on vacation?

In God's Love, sheila

Abigail Grace

2010-01-29T10:34:00.002-05:00

I would like to introduce you all (all five of you, lol) to Abigail Grace. She is our oldest daughter, nine years old, and a great big sister to the other three. She is in the 4th grade. She asked Jesus to be her Savior when she was 6 1/2. I'll have to share that story, it's a great one.

Since then, and probably before God has been molding Abby's heart. Her heart has always been turned towards the less fortunate. So I was not really surprised when she asked me if she could put a post on my blog about Haiti; but what came out of her heart made this mother so very proud.

*****************************************************************

WE WILL SPEAK OUT!

People here in the USA are reading, watching, or really just listing to what is happing down in Haiti. We might be sending money, or watching loved ones leave to help, or some of us going down ourselves.

Nevertheless, others are just treating it like old news. They think that the earthquake has gone, that it is over with, and that everything is back to normal. However, it is not over with, though the earthquake has past the sorrow some Haitians are enduring are still with them and will be with them forever. You never can let go the sorrow of people you have lost.

Sometimes we wish upon a lucky star, and hope for things we want but do not really need. Some people in Haiti wish upon a star, but do you know what they wish for? They wish for a better tomorrow, a new beginning, or maybe for a fresh start. People down there are working their bums off.

We are not thinking that they still have a lot of work to do, if you want pitch in and help these people you can, make a check payable to “The Wesleyan Church’’, memo line “Wesleyan Emergency Relief Fund ”, mail check to Wesleyan Emergency Relief Fund 13300 Olio Road Fishers, IN 46037, or credit card donation by calling 1-800-707-7715 fund # WMO7-7715-description ‘’Haiti Relief’’, or World Hope International-check website online.

Please there are people dying down in Haiti because they do not have the medical they need. They need you and from the people in Haiti: Thank You for the support that you gave them over the last couple of weeks. We do want everything back to normal down there.

Do not just figure other people can do it and you do not even have to be apart of this. You can help too. Do not be afraid to do what you know is right. Help them now. We need you!

Abby Harris
****************************************************
That's it, that is what is on my nine year old's heart.

There's much I can say about this, she uses words like 'we'. She's already a part of them (Haitians). She talks of the sorrow of losing the ones you love... Oh Lord, where are you taking her?

I've joked about her being a missionary when she was three. Not kidding. She had one of those little New Testament Bibles that have the Chinese writing in the front. She would obsess over that part of the Bible and want to know about China. And it was so cool when Pastor Matt actually went to China and I relayed some of the stories to her.

We use to have this spot in our yard that was raised up and it use to be used for compost, but not correctly. So there were all kinds of junk that could be uncovered and discovered. She would make her sister play missionary with her, they use to pretend to build churches and help the children with their schooling and food. It was so cute.

But now I'm wondering and praying. I want God to use her and her to be willing to be the one God has created her to be. But Lord, please don't send my baby to China.

All joking aside, Lord do with my family as you want, create in us an obedient heart to follow you where ever you lead.

In God's Love, sheila

Happy Birthday Camron

2010-01-27T10:14:00.000-05:00

Januray 27

Dearest Camron,

I want to ask you how you are; I want to ask you if you're happy, I want to ask you if you're behaving? All these questions come from not truly understanding the depths of God's love, not truly understanding where you are. Saying I know where you are and I know that if you had the choice you would stay; yet, still wondering....

I miss you more they I can say. I spent some time last night watching some videos. You made me smile. Your laughter, your goofiness, I hope you know/knew how important you are to our family. One of seven and sandwiched in the middle, did you know?

I was thinking of your age, I don't know how Heaven works, are you eight? Without a body, does age even matter; will your voice change? Your complete, full, made whole, I guess that is all I can know for now and until that great day when I see you again, I may have more questions than answers, but I know the One who holds all the mysteries and who wants to bring good from this. So for now I'll just wait and praise God, knowing that you are doing the same.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Love Aunt Sheila

Here's one of the many videos of Camron, Serena & Abby playing outside taken by my niece Cheylynne:

and this picture, just because it's so darn cute

http://www.vimeo.com/9019212

Happy Birthday Serena Rene'

2010-01-14T11:44:00.002-05:00

Wow, she's turning eight today. I am so proud to be her mommy. She is strong-willed, yes I am proud of that, even if it made me pull my hair out at times (just ask the ladies at my Momtime). I can still see Pat trying to carry her to her room for a time-out when she was about 3 or 4 and her clinging to the door jam. LOL.

Here is a new-born picture of my Serena (who for the first hour of her life was named Julia LeeAnn, oh I am so embarrassed to have that on video tape, hehehe.)

Wasn't she a beatiful baby!

Serena has proven to be a great big sister, and probably an even better little sister.

She is smart and her competitiveness has surprised me. I remember teaching Abby how to tie her shoe in Kindergarten and Serena would watch and try very hard. Do you know that by the time she started Pre-K she could tie her shoes?

Same thing with riding a bike and math facts. Pat was teaching Abby how to ride without training wheels and it was not going very well. They both needed a breather and as soon as Abby got off that bike Serena got on and by herself learned to ride.

She is also funny. Not that she likes other's to know. She is shy and does not like to stand out. But around her family she can be silly and loud. Yes, Serena can be loud.

And here she is just a few days ago.

We sure are glad her hair finally grew, and grew, and grew.

I love you Dolly, Happy Birthday

Owen Singing

2010-01-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

My heart was so warmed the other night as I heard Owen singing his little heart out to the Lord. That is until I heard what he was singing...

http://www.vimeo.com/8635137

Probably a good thing he didn't join the other children at Christmas time up on stage.
In God's Love, sheila

Completely Random

2010-01-07T13:39:00.002-05:00

Well it's been quite some time since my last post. Between the time off with the kids and making many adjustments; there just didn't seem time. Or maybe I thought I really had nothing to say or at least blog about; because I usually have something to say.

So this will probably end up very random.

We had a very nice Christmas. Sondra spent the night on Christmas Eve and stayed all day Christmas with us. It was good to be together.

I love the fact that while the kids are very eager to open their presents under the tree, they were also content with their stockings and will wait a couple of hours before beginning. It makes for a very relaxed morning. Some time to reflect and watch the children play together and be excited for what was in each other’s stockings (stickers, chapstick, cars, etc.)

We had some friends take all four children out one day to buy some presents for ME. The kids kept the surprise of what they bought for almost 3 weeks. Completely surprised me, Tommy never blabbed at all; but what surprised me more was the eagerness for me to open up what they had picked out. Their presents were still sitting under the tree and they were shuffling around trying to find the ones they wrapped. Apparently 3 weeks was just long enough to keep a surprise.

I usually don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, because well I think they are somewhat cliché. But guess what, I really do. Only it’s not at New Year’s, so does that count? See what happens is the week before Christmas (typically) I begin to quiet down some and begin to read God’s word more and pray a bit more than usual. All this brings about a sense of wanting more and knowing that I need God’s wisdom and for a second becoming aware of how much God loves each one of us. So it’s then that I begin to do memory scripture and pulling the kids along side one-on-one for some alone time with them. I want them to know how much they are loved, individually; not always an easy thing to do. Oh and I’ve also been working out in the gym. A healthier new year is here, I hope.

In one week I had 3 different people tell me how well behaved my children are. I’m not saying that to brag, believe me. But, after the third person said it and was very sincere, I had to take some time to look at my kids. Sometimes I feel as if I am always correcting, always reminding, and don’t get me started on the noise level in the living room. Do I wish they sit next to each holding hands reading, sure do, but God didn’t give me robots. He gave me four independent, funny, ambitious, healthy children. And I am learning to appreciate the noise and funniness (is that a word?) at times. They are good children, they just tend to let loose and be themselves when at home.

Be themselves when at home…..ow…. is that what I do? Am I one way at home and another out? Some more self-reflecting needs to be done on this one. I’ll let you know the results, but if you see me at Wal-Mart in a big sweatshirt, jogging pants (not that I jog) and being completely self-absorbed in my shopping mission, you’ll know I’ve reflected.

One last thing, back to Christmas, we added to our family this year. Thanks to the Tonawanada SPCA. They are quite the joy.

Please meet Luke (Tommy named him: as in Luke Skywalker)

Prince Alexander III (Abby got to name him, there are no other I, or II but the III makes him sound more prestigious, I guess.)

Owen is learning to be very gentle with them.

Have a great day.

In God’s Love, sheila

A Hurting Heart

2009-12-18T10:05:00.001-05:00

Today I’m hurting.

I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions lately and I’m not sure if it’s because of the season, Tommy’s birthday or this is just life now.

I miss ‘the boys’ so much. I miss their laughter, their smiles, their stories, the noise (and there was a lot with seven children), I miss watching them all play together, grow together, there is so much to miss.

Last year at this time I was functioning under shock and disbelief, I think that was a great coping mechanism God gave us, and as I’ve grown over the last year, apparently I no longer need them. But now I am left with the reality, that at times almost hurts so bad it’s physical. I am here and they are there and I wish it wasn’t so.

I got the kids school pictures in the mail about four weeks ago. They look great. I didn’t have time to put them up and I still haven’t found time. Really, I can’t find ten minutes to change the pictures in the frames? As I was thinking about this last night, I realized that I’m stuck. It occurred to me that I don’t want to change my kids pictures. You see, on my wall are seven pictures and I’ll only be changing four of them. How do I do that?

So as I cry out to my Abba Father, He continues to meet me and teach me in His way.

I’ll leave you with a story:

The other night I was snuggling with Tommy and he said he was scared of lions and bears (yup, just out of the blue like that). Well except for the cute little cub that was far enough from our house last year that it was exciting and not scary.

So I quickly think, this is a great teachable moment, and I say, ‘Well, Tommy, God gave David the strength and protected him against the lions and bears, and God is always with us, so I think your pretty safe; and the fact that we really don’t live in an area with lions and bears (normally) I think you’ll be ok.’

He looked at me and said ‘Well, when Jesus comes back everything will be normal again,’ and turned over and went to sleep.

Wow… and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. He’s right, this isn’t normal, hurting, death, pain; this is not the way God created us to live, but then there was sin and everything changed. And God loved us so much He sent His one and only Son to be born in a manger and His name is Jesus and when we are with Him either this side or that; everything will be normal again. Hallelujah . May God bless you this season and rejoice, everything will be normal again. I, for one, am anxiously awaiting the day.

In God’s Love, sheila

Political or Not

2009-12-15T10:29:00.002-05:00

I am so NOT political, but when I heard this on the radio this morning my first thought was 'How dare they?'

So the deal is, it is alright for the government to promote Jesus for their 2010 census but almost illegal for Jesus to be associated with Christmas....

Then as I started to think about it, aren't they saying what we as Christians knew all along. Jesus was born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph exactly as the Bible says.

So thanks for making it so widely known. I'm really not upset about it.

God bless you and Merry Christmas,

In God's Love, sheila

'Not me' Monday

2009-12-14T12:18:00.001-05:00

I certainly would never feed my now 5 yr old a peanut butter and strawberry ice cream topping as a complete sandwich. That just wouldn’t be healthy. Not one ounce of guilt here, that was until his little brother wanted just a jelly sandwich and I gave it to him. Oh, what a tangled web we weave…..

I also would never think to put my many sick children on the floor to sleep with a few towels under their faces, because the thought of stripping a bed in the middle of the night made me want to cry. Of course I really didn’t, but the thought may or may not have been there.

I certainly didn’t turn red when I asked someone in the weight room if the machine was broken, only to discover I was no where near using it properly. I may or may not go back there again. And I certainly wouldn’t of skipped any machine I did not know how to use, because I was too embarrassed to ask. I have more self-esteem than that.

I also didn’t try sending in beans and yams to my son’s school for the needy because no one will eat them in my house. Only to find that he refused to take them, claiming ‘no one wants them, they won’t eat ‘em, they won’t even like them’ and then I certainly wouldn’t of served them for dinner that night to the same son. Sometimes it’s just great being the Mom.

I also wouldn’t of been in such a hurry to leave the house without a diaper, And if I did and my little guy needed a diaper change at his big sister’s concert, I wouldn’t first see if the diaper was salvageable, then decide it wasn’t and let him go al natural. Which may or may not have worked out well until we then went to my Aunt’s funeral an hour later. In which I would have taken the time to stop at the house and get a diaper instead of rushing. But, let’s just say I did rush then I would have had it in mind to NOT allow him upteen cups of water from the water cooler because he was content and well-behaved. You know because that water machine is so darn addicting to a two year old. Of course, that was probably what it was on his pants, spilled water, I’m sure of it.

Like I said, sometimes it’s just great being a Mom. How was your week?

In God’s love, sheila

Happy Birthday Tommy

2009-12-13T07:34:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe he is turning five. He is so full of self-confidence and such a boy. But there is a side to him that is the most lovable, huggable, snuggly little boy. And what a sense of humor that is emerging. Can you believe how much he has changed.

One month old

Look at those cheeks

5 mths old

Don't ya love that smile....

Here's that sense of humor

Three years old

Happy Birthday My Big Boy,

I love you more than the snowflakes that fall in the winter

love, mommy

Installing A Husband

2009-12-11T10:58:00.000-05:00

Everyone once in a while, it's good to laugh and just imagine a simplier life. Which is why, when a friend sent this to me, I cracked up. It's not an original, and maybe you've even seen it, 'Oh, if the problems in life were so simple.' Enjoy and Merry Christmas,

In God's Love, sheila

Subject: INSTALLING A HUSBAND

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as:

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.
** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,

Boy friend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 up date.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boy friend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

Santa Clause

2009-12-01T16:43:00.000-05:00

So I'm having some quiet talk and snuggle time with my four year old Tommy and he asked me something about Santa Clause. Before I knew what was happening, Tommy was asking me 'what if Santa is a theif?'

First off, how does he know this word and second have I done lasting damage to my child? Where did this come from? Am I freaking out for no reason?

Let's retrace my Santa Theory a bit to get a better handle on things:

Abby, first-born, very realistic. At 3/4 looked straight at me and said 'is Santa real'? So I said, 'Well, what do you think? She really thought about it a minute scrunched up her little nose and grinned saying 'Momma, reindeers can't fly and I don't think someone can deliver toys to every child in one night.' So I re-afirmed what she already knew, but let her know that it is fun to pretend, right?

Serena was a little harder. She is the shy one. She is also somewhat a perfectionist and HATES to be wrong. Oh my word, to be wrong about something as huge as Santa Clause would be life-changing. So, while she would never really admit whether or not she believed, keeping her perfect record of 100% accuracy, I think she really did.

And then once the girls saw the Tim Allen movie, Santa Clause, that was all she needed to answer any of Abby's doubts, no fireplace, no problem; no snow, not a worry; only one night, piece of cake.

Don't even get me started on the ones who have tried to tell my children that 'to the one who doesn't believe, is the one who doesn't get anything'. Yeah, I better not go there, let it go, let it go......lol.

So, what does everyone else who is sane and rational do about the Santa Clause thing?

He looks normal though doesn't he, he doesn't looked damaged or fragile?

Motherhood is NOT as easy as some people led me to believe.

In God's love, sheila

Did you ever see this episode of I Love Lucy...

2009-11-25T09:32:00.002-05:00

Not too sure which one is Lucy and which is Ethel:

What can you control?

I decided it was time for a kitchen makeover. First, I had a wall in my kitchen with a growth. Well not really a growth, but something was going on, the drywall was protruding out and I just knew that if we touched it, it would crumble. So we never did, we just ignored it and hoped everyone else did too. I certainly never wanted to invest money in the kitchen with a wall like that, where would the logic be in that. But finally I did get the wall fixed and could not wait to paint it. This project had so many similarities to my life that I think it may take me quite a while to process it all.

When things in my life seem to be out of control or I could better say not in my control anymore, (ha, like they ever where anyways) I always get a desire to make changes, whether it is to my hair, my curtains (I don't know where that comes from), and this time it was my kitchen.

I enlisted the help of my sister. How much fun we had. Wow! We laughed and there were some tears, there are always tears when we get together, but there was more laughter this time. Sometimes we just crack each other up.

Sondra reminded me the last time we painted together, it was 10 years ago and she was helping me put the nursery together in preparation for our first baby. We were both about 7.5 mths pregnant and couldn't wait to start decorating. It turned out very nice. It seems so long ago now.

So here we were at 9:00 at night, the kids at a friends house, all the material set out before us, and we begin. Yeah, there's more prep work than we imagined, I have a very small kitchen so we thought that would go fairly fast. Not!!

We also had more accessories on hand than was really needed and we didn't really know what to use them for. And before we could even start, we realized we had nothing to open the paint can with. Really, can you even stand it.

And of course we put the two cabinets together with the drawers facing each other, because really why would we need to get into cupboards. Unless it's to get a butter knife to open the paint can that is sitting on the top of the cabinet. So my ingenious sister pulls out a pen to open it but that stubborn lid just wouldn't budge, go figure, next tool of choice was a spoon and we got started. Then we realized there were things in the cabinet that we really did need, so she carefully moved the cabinet to the side slightly and got what she needed. She even tried her luck a few more times and as she went to go in it THE LAST TIME she forgot the bucket of paint sat there and the plastic started to slid as gravity started it's decent, I hollared and dashed and did manage to grab it before it fell. Oh that could have been disasterous.

I can't tell you how many times I almost stepped on the lid of paint with my slippers on and at one point Sondra looked at me and said, 'oops I think my bra just came undone.' (probably too much information but hey, it wasn't my bra.) LOL. This is the way the entire night went.

Then she was so proud to teach me her trick she learned, I'll tell you her secret, put holes in the rim of the paint can so the paint drips down, I bet your wondering how you've managed so long with out that bit of information. She's so smart. Of course she dropped the nail in and tried to grab it before it sunk, not so lucky.

So what do you think, are you up for some color?

Don't look too closely, remember I said there were similarties to life in this painting project. There are many imperfections and even some spots that show through, some places that still need some sanding, but you know what, I love it. I wonder if that is how God sees us?

In God's Love, sheila

Here's the before:

Yup, that clock says 3:07 am, time for some tea and cocoa

Here's the after:

Owen and the T-Shirt

2009-11-19T08:43:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I enjoy wondering what makes children act, react the way they do. Is it their circumstances at that moment, is it their birth order, is it innate in them, or is it just simply they’re kids and not really running on a full-tank quite yet (thanks Pastor Joe for filling me in on this)…

So Let's look at Case 1

We had some friends who went to Myrtle Beach on a much needed vacation and brought each of the children back a tee-shirt. Each liked their shirts and acted appropriately upon receiving them (manners and everything). Well, at least that is the way I am remembering it. Owen even wanted it put on right then, very cute.

Equally as cute was that evening when he just couldn’t part with this shirt and had to wear it under his pajamas. Oh, that is special. However, when I got home from work the next evening I noticed he was now wearing the shirt over his other shirt. Well, that is strange but I’ve Got A lot Going On, and that really isn’t a battle I’m ready to engage in.

Fast-forward three weeks later, and this is what I get for not picking my battle wisely (who knew?)

Owen and The Shirt (click to watch video)

Yeah, that’s not a pretty side of Owen at all.
We like to keep that hidden. SURPRISE
And it didn’t end there, after about five minutes he went back to the laundry room to get his shirt, I thought we were going to be in for another battle, but he quickly (thankfully) went on to something else. Of course, it was late and he was tired, but really he's lucky I was too busy filming for corrective measures to be taken.

So the next morning what do you think he must of be dreaming about. Yep, the much coveted shirt.
Sorry, Sharon, but I truly may have to hide this shirt for awhile.

Owen and The Next Morning

So again, I wonder why he clings to this shirt so much. Of course Grandma Sharon would say it’s because she gave it to him : ) or is it because the other kids call it his ‘Rock Star’ shirt. Just for the record he has never seen MTV or VH1 (is there still a VH1?) so I’m not sure where he gets this whole rolling around on the ground rock star persona from.

Finally, he gets it and all is well. Owen and The Shirt, Part 3

Now, this is a pretty side of Owen. I just love this baby, dirty shirt and all.

In God’s Love, sheila

I've Got A Lot Going On...

2009-11-17T09:37:00.001-05:00

I seem to use this ~~excuse~~ line frequently.

I use it when I’m running late, when I’m not sure who my children are sitting with at church (because I’ve just noticed, they're not next to me); when I realize I still haven’t helped Tommy with his Thankful Feather for Pre-K, when I don’t know if my tire is flat because it takes time to walk to the other side of my van and look, when there are four little faces looking at me wondering what’s for dinner and I’m looking back at them wondering the same thing, when my older children are helping with potty training their younger brother, when the little one doesn’t have shoes on and I know, when my checkbook hasn’t been balanced in ~~3 mths~~ a while and the oil changed in my van even longer or when I haven’t sat down and visited with a friend just because, read a book just to read, or have been to a store that didn’t require getting home right away because something might thaw, or have had the conversation with my daughter about NOT joining basketball with her friends (don’t break the news to her, I’ll do it today, well not today we have a reception at the school, tomorrow, I’ll do it tomorrow, oh yeah, I am finally getting together with some friends for a MUCH, MUCH needed bible study while the kids are at church, Wednesday, Wednesday is the day!! Now I hope that permission slip didn’t need to be in before, Abby’s very conscientious about timely things. Go Figure.)

I’ve Got A Lot Going On…..

We have some wonderful friends who have been ~~helping~~ doing our addition for us. I take the time to pray for each of you and are so thankful.

On Friday night I decided I needed to connect with the children. I have been doing family movie night on Friday's lately, mostly because it's easy and I'm tired after a long week. While we get to snuggle and laugh and eat popcorn, there really isn't a whole lot of connection going on. So in the middle of the movie I gathered all the children and we went outside (in our pajamas) with some blankets and we laid down in my new bedroom (there was no roof on it) and looked up at the stars, they were amazing. Tommy was so excited to find the Big Dipper. We snuggled outside under the stars in our house, lol, we talked and laughed and then the boys got too crazy and Abby was missing her movie, but for the moment we slowed down and it was good.

So I think for now I'll have to focus on the quality of our time together not the quantity; but make no mistake I do realize that a half hour a week of quality time in no way makes up for putting in quantity time as a mom. It just doesn't and it shouldn't, God gave me the responsiblity of these four children and I love it.

Well the stars didn't show up so well, but trust me when I say the were beautiful...

In God's Love, sheila

Beauty From Ashes

2009-11-09T11:51:00.004-05:00

This weekend turned out very nice. My mom has been working very hard at planting a flower garden at the old house in honor of the boys.

First, let me be honest and say, I did not in any way help in the planning or in the enthusiasm. I just didn't. Still a few things I am working through and going there does not bring back happy memories at all for me.

But, I went. And I am glad.

The night before I sat at my table alone, wondering how to do my part in honoring the boys while not, in anyway, stepping on anyone's toes, either with my attitude or my SELF. Did I mention my new CD by Steven Curtis Chapman, Beauty Will Rise came in the mail that very day.

Let me say that I have listened to this CD no less then two dozen times. It is wonderful, heartfelt, and more honest than I have ever been. I laid in bed and cried as I read every inch of the sleeve (something I've only ever done, maybe twice, I mean seriously does anyone read them?). The one song 'God, is it True?' lyrics were recorded in a hotel in Rochester, NY, June 6, 2009. SCC says this is probably more information than anyone really wanted to know, but here it is. Guess what, y'all, this was the same day my mom, myself and friends were at the Women of Faith conference in Rochester, NY where SCC was playing on Friday night. I just thought it was cool how so involved God is, in everything. Doesn't that just give you goosebumps. It also didn't go un-noticed that the CD was released on November 3.

So as I sat there listening to the CD I decided to paint a sign from the very words I heard from SCC shortly after
his daughter went home to be with Jesus.

'We will be with them far longer than they were with us' Is. 61:3

This is the sign Abby & Serena made for them

Aren't they talented

That is Tommy's painting to the left of Daydon's cross, he so misses him.

I even got into the work and it was good

Truly this is not what we would at all want, but someday, I KNOW, I will understand and even be thankful.

There are so many more times over the last year that God has shown me Light and I'll share that sometime soon.

In God's Love, Aunt Sheila

Walk the Walk

2009-11-05T12:45:00.000-05:00

I say, 'I trust'

I say, 'in His will'

I say, 'He knows best'

Then why is it that I can fall right back into the same pattern of handling things the way I think they should be handled. Why is it that I feel the need to jump in and save the day.

Honestly, I would have to say it's because there is too much of mySELF left in me. Too much of me who thinks I have the answers or I can see the way things need to be done.

God has clearly asked me to let go, completely, and He will work things out. It may not even be the way I want them to work out. But, God has a plan and His plan is not to harm me or hurt me. Although I am hurting now. I'm reminded that Jesus hurt on the cross at Calvary, but He was still there for each of us.

He's asking me if I really trust Him in this situation, all the way through? Do I, I'm scared. But, I am asking God for the strength and wisdom to to keep myself right where God needs me to be and He will do the rest. I need to be obedient and take mySELF out of the picture.

Thank you for all your prayers for yesterday, they were definitely heard as I had a peace about me yesterday amidst the sadness. God is good.

In God's Love, sheila

I Didn't Panic

2009-10-30T10:22:00.001-04:00

A time to reflect…..

This morning a young girl came into the office, looking slightly scared, and whispered to me that she thought her water broke.
What are the odds that in an office of four I am the only one here at this time.
I gave myself five seconds to panic, and then noticed there was not a puddle in front of my desk and her pants were dry. I was very thankful and realized I can do this. I got some information from her, called security for an ambulance and sat down with her to calm her down. She had no one else for me to call. No one. She is 8.5 mths along, she thinks, and is all alone. She is scared. I so wanted to pray with her. I was praying but not with her.

She asked me if I had any children, and I laughed and said yes, four. She looked at me, lol, shaking her head, ‘Four, I can’t do this one.’ I re-assured her that she could and she would be fine.

But, do I know that? No, I don’t, I don’t know her situation, I don’t know if she knows the Lord, I don’t know anything about her. But I do know that God loves her, I do know that somehow God can do for her what he has done for me and many others who give their lives to Him completely.

The birth of all of my children, no matter what my situation at the time was, is one of the happiest times of my life. That moment when you actually hold the baby you have prayed for, felt move, and loved, is pure joy. Seeing that little face look up at you and your eyes connect, I can close my eyes right now and still see each of my children’s small tiny faces looking straight through me. Even though they say they can’t really focus and see you, there is a connection and a mother’s love that flows straight through. Love that came first from the Father.

In God’s Love, sheila

update: I've mentioned before that sometimes it takes me awhile to get things, I've been thinking of the girl all morning and her situation and it dawned on me that perhaps she wasn't keeping the baby. I spoke with my supervisor and she confirmed it. I am so thankful that in this day in age, she choose adoption rather than abortion. I hope I get the chance to encourage her and let her know what a wise decision she made. I pray there is a family waiting to share Jesus with this small miracle.

FALL

2009-10-22T16:05:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago we got the chance to go to Akron Falls, what a beautiful place. We ended up running late on time and batteries for my camera so I can't show you the water falls, but it is beautiful. Great place to go hiking, to take children, they must have at least 10 different playgrounds.

Here are a few pictures:

See what we have been up to:

Seriously, is anyone else grossed out by this, in my picture you can actually see the slime on his hand, ugh...

Sondra asked to take Tommy on his field trip to Atwater Farms. She said it was hard, but so glad she did.

God is good all the time.

In God's love, sheila

Addition, +, edition (which do you prefer)

2009-10-20T13:11:00.001-04:00

If I can't do one-type of addition; I'll do another.

We were sitting at the table on Friday night eating dinner and continued to hear this 'MEOW' loudly and insistent. There we found a little kitty stuck in our tree in the front yard. Oh, the kids were just tickled. Owen is loving his new kitty. He even blamed the cat for a two-week old scratch on his leg. I guess that means he is staying. It's not the cutest, honestly, but the kids are enjoying him/her and we have named it Patches.
Every once in a while I can see how much Serena is like me (sometimes it makes me cringe and other times it makes me giggle). She called me into her room twice last night (2:30 AM and 5:00 AM) to get this adorable kitty because she was trying to sleep and he was bothering her. Should I show her the irony of the cat waking her up and her waking me up? I have a feeling it will be lost on her or she'll just look at me and grin.

It's been quite a while since I've updated. And for good reasons: I'm busy. I mean really busy. I didn't really realize how busy I have been until a friend called and asked if the kids would like to go to a church function with her kids. She was willing to pick them up and drop them off, almost 2.5 hrs. I said YES so fast that I surprised myself. lol. That's tonight and I'm sure they will have a great time as I know I will.

In God's Love, sheila

ps: it's been two years today that my brother-in-law Darren went home to be with the Lord, I look at my children and my heart hurts for his. Please say a prayer for them. We so much miss his sense of humor and cockiness, neither can be replaced. See you in Glory, Darren.

Quilt of Holes

2009-10-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

DISCLAIMER: I don't know who wrote this, it was not me that I know, but it is good, so I thought I would share.

Quilt of Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.

Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.

I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.

Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise.

My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow mustered the strength to pick up and begin again.

I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.

I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.

An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.

Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.

Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.'

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

God determines who walks into your life ....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go. When there is nothing left but God that is when you find out that God is all you need.

My supervisor sent me this today. She has no idea what is going on in my personal life, but as I mentioned earlier, there is no such thing as 'coincidence', not when God is involved.

But as I think about this, I do want more of Christ in my life, I need more of Christ in my life. Sometimes it's hard to give things completely over to God and trust him for the outcome, even if it is not the way you planned. But know that somehow, some way, He will redeem it and use it for his glory.

In God's Love, sheila

How's Your Prayer Life?

2009-10-07T09:12:00.000-04:00

I’ve never been known to be the most observant person. In fact my mom likes to remind me how she could almost hide something right under my nose and I would still be looking high and low for it.

I would like to think that I have become a little more aware and observant as I have aged. Then I’ll have someone say ‘I was driving right behind you, didn’t you see me?’. Ummm no, sorry, try beeping and waving your arms out the window, I’m sure to see you then.

So when I read the message on prayer here, The Ugly Truth About My Prayer Life, I thought, well at least he is honest and that’s really what it is about if you want to change something. I’ll say a prayer for him.

Then, my husband found some old papers in our barn with the Lord’s Prayer written out. We bought our house from a dear lady who has taught Sunday School forever, or so it would seem. As I began to look through the papers, my mouth fell open as I recognized the names, they were kids I knew, way back when we were about 10 maybe, wish there was a date on them.

Look what was on the bottom on the pile:

Can you barely believe it? What are the odds? Well, they are about 100% if God is trying to get your attention. But, like I said, I'm not the quickest when things are not spelled out.

There was also one written by my best friend Tammy. She died when she was only 19. Just holding her paper gave me a smile. I think I would like to frame it for her mother. What a nice trip down memory lane. How nice to have these to look at.

So I put them on the shelf and went about my day. I still couldn’t connect the dots.

Well my Pastor sure knows how to hit someone over the head with a message : )

Can you guess what his message was on? Yes, the message was on prayer.

And as I sat there thinking about my own prayer life, I was left was some shame and guilt. To be completely honest.

There’s one particular area in my life that I have stopped praying for and about. Why, when that is the area that needs the most prayer? To be honest, again, I’m ashamed to admit I don’t think it will help and I feel guilty praying when I’m not even sure I really want to pray about this situation anymore.

Yes, I really believe that God can do the impossible, that he can move the mountain. But why doesn’t he? Again, just being honest.

I know logically what the reasons are or could be, and then again He is God and He could have his own reasons in which I know nothing about. I mean really He doesn’t have to have his reasons fit into my logic. Which stinks!!!

I can see through certain things that have happened in my life that I am now in a place closer to God than I have ever been before and I also recognize how much further I have to go.

So for now, I will continue to pray and be honest with God, even when it’s not pretty, even when I would rather say ‘I’m doing ok’.

In God’s Love, sheila

2009-09-30T11:55:00.001-04:00

What makes you smile, really smile, maybe even giggle out loud?

Even when life is hard and things seem not so right, there is usually something to smile at, something to make you think, it's not that bad.

Here's a few of mine from the last couple days, enjoy.

Tommy had a cut on top of his head so I asked him what happened. He put his hand up there and felt and looked at me and said ‘Mom, I’m not a super hero, I can’t see on top of my head, see (he then goes to demonstrate the fact that his head moves everytime he tries to look). 'I just can’t know everything that happens to me', he said with quite the exasperation in his voice.

I wonder if he thinks I really do have eyes in the back of my head, or that mommy's do know everything

Owen was snuggling on my lap this morning with his warmness still on him from just having woke up. As if that isn’t good enough; we then have the following conversation:

Me: Owen, are you happy?

Owen: Yes(th)

Me: What makes you happy?

Owen: ummm, Grandma

Me: awww, Grandma makes you happy?

Owen: no, YOU make me happy, as he is throwing his arms around my neck and giving a big, squishy hug

Now, don't tell Grandma she just got ousted, but it sure did make me smile

Mommy Brag:

Serena brought home a paper from school and she will be taking a pre-test before each Math unit in school and she does well enough, she will be excused from the classroom to go to an accelerated math class. WOW… she did not get that from my side of the family. Yeah, I know it’s only 2nd grade math, but still WOW!!!

Abby: She is the typical first-born. Over-achiever, and leader. I am very proud of her and she is also very compassionate. I love that about her.

Watching the boys up on Daddy’s lap while he is reading them a book…

So, what makes you smile even when all is not right?

In God's Love, sheila

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR ENEMY IS?

2009-09-25T15:59:00.001-04:00

Ephesians 6:12 says:

'For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rules, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places'

This is God's word, so I know it to be true.

But sometimes, it feels so personal that it's hard to remember.
Sometimes, you can see the work of Satan and wonder why others can't.
Sometimes, you wonder who your enemy is?

So everyday, I will choose to put on the full armor of protection.

Lord, I choose to put on the helmet of salvation today in order to protect my mind. I want to think only Your thoughts, Lord. I want to thank you that when Satan sends one of his thoughts my way, this helmet of salvation will protect my thinking.

Lord, I choose to put on the breastplate of righteousness to guard my emotions. I was to feel only what you feel. Don't let me react out of my emotions. Rather, let me respond based on the truth I know in my mind.

Lord, I choose to fasten on truth so I can stay centered on your Word. I want to live in the truth, walk in the truth, and testify to the truth.

Lord, I choose to put on the sandals of peace. Wherever I go today, I want to be a peacemaker. I want my footprints to be evidence of the tranquility I carry in the Holy Spirit.

Lord, I choose to take up the shield of faith. I want to thank You that, no matter how many fiery arrows the Enemy hurls at me today, no matter how many trials or temptations may come, I can stand safely behind the massive protection of faith.

Lord, I choose to lift high the sword of the Spirit, Your hold Word. Father, thank you for this spiritual weapon that cuts so deeply to bring about conviction and repentance.

In God's love, sheila

Amusement Parks

2009-09-16T07:20:00.003-04:00

I have always loved amusement parks. Not that I have always had great experiences with them. They say things that happen in our life happen for a reason whether it is to teach us something, or for someone else’s benefit; whatever the reason I have adopted two rules for amusement parks.

1. Never go on any rides that spin

2. Always bring your own vehicle

Remember these lesson’s are personal and we all have our own. Which is why a child usually cannot learn from a parent’s mistake, wouldn’t life be wonderful, but then we would be perfect right, I mean we would have ‘evolved’ into perfect beings because somewhere, someone has made the same mistakes I have. And I’m sure I have made the same mistakes my mother has once or twice.

I’m trying to decide whether or not to tell you how I came up with these two rules. It doesn’t show my good decision making ability.

Rule number one: First tell me, does a girl’s equilibrium change after a certain age, kinda like being tolerant of dairy products after a certain age? Because if it does, this rule wouldn’t apply to you and is specifically for me as I mentioned earlier. I was 14/15 yrs old and we were down in Jamestown for the Field Days, my aunt was a part of the local fire company so they had a great big food stand that we were going to be working at. A dream come true, we were going to be there the entire day, from 8:00-10:00, all day. We got there so early the rides had not even started and certainly people were not standing in line for sausage & peppers & onions. When they did get the rides started, I took my sister and our ‘free’ tickets to go on some rides before the lines started.

Here’s the deal, the operator at the rides have nothing to do all day but start and stop the ride. That’s it, that’s their job and if they don’t have a line of kids standing behind them, makes no difference to them.

And so we got on this ride that went up and spun around and around, the first 5 minutes was great, but 15 minutes into this ride and I’m turning green and my sister is yelling out the car ‘STOP, MY SISTER’S GETTING SICK’, around and around. Finally he stopped and he realized he had a little bit more to do that day than stop and start the ride. Serves him right. Now, many, many years later I have to becareful how I watch the kids going on the Merry-Go-Round.

Rule No. 2: Always bring my own vehicle. Going to an amusement park is fun, but it’s even better when there is a group of friends. And there was a group of us, 6 or 7, one person had a license, we were probably 15/16. Tammy (my bff) and I decided to distance ourselves from the group. I could stand on principle and say they were drinking, which they were, but it wasn’t really that we were scared to ride with them but that we didn’t want to get kicked out of the park with them. Now how’s that for smart. So their we were at the end of the evening, hadn’t seen anyone we know for the last 2-3 hrs, security is telling us we have to go and we can’t find anyone. They must already be at the car, nope the car is gone. My bff and I got left at Darien Lake. What would have been smart then was to call someone, but then they would have gotten in trouble. DUH, you think. Not us, we clearly were not thinking.

So, sticking to my two rules, off I took the kids to Darine Lake and we had a great time.

Water rides and roller coasters are my thing. That is Tommy, Abby & Serena on this big water slide. It's not a close up on purpose, lol. Wow, you should have seen Tommy's eyes at the beginning of it.

Grandma, was the cool one of the day who went on all those rides I couldn't.

Of course I could do the ferris wheel, it's goes three cars up at a time then stops.

Did I mention, I always get my money's worth. We didn't leave until 10:00 PM, I took the girls on the Viper at 9:45. That was great, no lines. Serena actually giggled loudly on the ride and Abby screamed. But said they loved it, they're hooked.

We had a good day.

In God's Love, sheila

First Day Of School

2009-09-14T09:25:00.000-04:00

The first official week of school is over. When I got my new job, I realized I wouldn’t be home to get them on the bus or off, not the first day, not ever. Lots of moms & dads have to work and can’t be a part of this, it’s life. Also, without the boys here and everyone excited together, there was some sadness hanging around. So, maybe it was better I can’t be home, I thought. I can rationalize almost anything.

I was able to make sure the girls had everything and were ready, took some pictures and prayed with them and kissed them goodbye. The boys were still sleeping and Tommy doesn’t go until the afternoon. I thought that was going to make it easier on my ‘Mommy Guilt’ to not have to see him with his backpack and eagerness written all over his face.

Serena was so cute with her sparkly shirt and pink sparkly sneakers to match, only you can't see them in this picture.
Abby looks so old, but it's only the picture, she's still only 9.

All the kids will be riding home on the same bus and I had asked the girls to make sure they smiled at Tommy and said 'Hi' to him. Please, at least acknowledge you know him. It’s a big bus and intimidating for a four year old. I think because of Tommy’s personality the girls don’t see him as being nervous or afraid because they looked at me like I was crazy and said he would be fine. Just do it, be nice to your brother, I asked.

I was doing pretty good, but then I have a long ride to work and guess what I saw? Moms & Dads outside with their children, grandparents, a few even had Aunts or neighbors wishing them well and snapping pictures. I do hope they enjoyed the moment. It’s a very special one. And then I cried a few tears.

I got a chance to call Tommy before he went off for his first day, he was so excited and I was very happy for him. The pictures Pat took doesn’t show a nervous little boy but one confident and ready. When I got home and had a chance to ask everyone about their day, all seemed well. Then Tommy told me that Abby said Hi to him and Serena sat next to him on the way home. They do love each other.

Let's remember I was not home, so I didn't even question what this picture was about.

Yeah, he loved it.

In God's Love, sheila

My Sub-Conscience

2009-09-07T07:17:00.001-04:00

Ever wonder about your sub-conscience, I never did. Really, of course I knew I had one, they say everyone does, but it’s like the black hole, you know it’s there somewhere but not too sure you really want to know.

I had been having trouble sleeping. Trouble falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep. I have four children and I am use to getting woke up, so I can usually fall back to sleep rather quickly, after nine years you just get use to it. But not this past week. And as I laying there willing myself back to sleep, and thinking this cannot be good for the new job, I get more and more stressed. What is going on?

Glad you asked, or didn’t, really doesn’t matter at this point, but as I was getting dressed for work on Friday, I put it together, it was the fourth. It’s been 10 months since the boys have went home to be with Jesus. You would think I would not need this great light-bulb moment. But I did and I seem to have to have it every month. I was talking with Sondra, on Friday, telling her this very same thing, and she looks at me and says DUH….. She had still not put it together even though she had just told her friend she couldn’t sleep. We blame it on something we ate, drank coffee too late, anything than what it really is. My sub-conscience is not my friend!!!

It’s not that I can ever forget what happened and now I’m really thinking that I can’t just pretend the date does not mean something significant for me. I think I have to purposefully do something, whether it is spending some quiet time remembering the boys or going to the cemetery or at the house. I really don’t like going to the cemetery.

By the way, my mom has been working very hard on her own making a memorial garden and we were talking about the one-year coming up. Again, to purposefully do something will help, so we will be planting flower bulbs and I thought it would be nice if anyone wanted to give ‘donate’ bulbs, she would get a great surprise out of that. Just leave them under the bench that is there (3100 Bishop Rd.) or give them to me and I’ll deliver them.

In God’s Love, sheila

Corrie ten Boom poem

2009-09-03T13:25:00.004-04:00

I found this poem about two weeks ago and it has just stuck with me. I love it.

This is it.

I talk about my (our) life being like a jigsaw puzzle, probably because I don't weave or loom, but it's still the same principle. Every piece fits and it's God's master plan, some jigsaw puzzles have more pieces than others, sad but true. But they all fit and all have purpose.

My life is but a weaving between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors, He works so steadily.
Oft'times He weaves in sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.
Not til the loom is silent, and the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas, and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skillful hand,
as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

And someday we will see how we fit and how all the pieces of our life worked together just perfectly the way God planned.

In God's Love, sheila

The Last Day....

2009-08-25T09:13:00.008-04:00

Awww, they came to wish me well....

Well it's officially my last day here and I am somewhat excited about the new chapter in my life. I only wish we were not down to one vehicle, UGH. I should of taken advantage of the cash for clunkers when we had the chance, not that I wanted a car payment though, which is why we didn't. But now the car has 'clunked', I wonder if we made the wisest choice.

I was actually quite surprised that I only had a small box to take with me. After 14 years I thought Pat was going to have to come up and carry my stuff home. That's a little sad. But then I'm learning to travel light. There is no reason to hang onto all that 'stuff'. I threw out that old bottle of cloraspectic throat spray and I can't tell you how many plastic spoons I had in that drawer. Sure I could of used them, but probably wouldn't. I think I could use a little bit of this theory at home to clean out some of the clutter.

Well, I'm off, it's been great, wish me well.

What do Country Kids do for Fun?

2009-08-20T09:29:00.014-04:00

I just had my last official Wednesday off. I really loved having a day off in the middle of the week to spend with the kids and run errands. And this being my last for a while, I really wanted it to be special. I thought of all kinds of great things to do: Water Park, Beach..... But I decided I wouldn't tackle any of those things on my own so I decided to take them out to lunch and a movie. This seemed do-able to me.

But first we had some outdoor fun. No electronics, no planning and we didn't even use Germ-X.

We discovered an adventure right in our own backyard, well really side yard.

But first we needed the proper tools. We needed a net and not our pool skimmer/net. So with an old mop stick and a surgical bootie, the kids were ready to begin their adventure. Yes, that is Owen's fishing pole in the first pic.

(Owen, Serena & Abby-the leader)

(Serena, Owen & Tommy-the exporer)

Even Anakin (our not-so-small dog) couldn't resist this discovery.

They are all so proud. Look at Owen grinning........

And here is what occupied my kids for more than an hour

Yep, those are dead minnows.

I was giggling to myself as I thought about tomorrow, or even later that night. Clearly we were not going to keep them and we were going to dump them in the drainage grate in the other yard. In which, I knew they would float out to the ditch at some point during the next 24 hrs. It would be like a whole new discovery.

They might even begin to think about how they are dying and getting in our ditch. That's when it hit me, and I looked over at my neighbor's driveway. Yep, he has a boat and was probably fishing and those dead minnows are probably from him dumping them in his ditch which they then floated down to ours, ewwww. Now, that just grosses me out.

At least eveyone cleans up nicely and in the afternoon we went out.

Wednesday at Tully's kids under 10 pay what they weigh. So I was able to feed all 5 of us for $10.10. Are you kidding me?? I should have known about that sooner. And they gave us $2.00 in tokens for the game room.

We then tried to go to the movies but nothing good for kids was playing so we rented Hotel For Dogs. And let me say this, Family Video, what is up with them having a room for NO ONE UNDER 18. Are you kidding me? That is another post. UGH.

We got 2 new rentals and Tommy got a free one, the lady says 'oh, there is a special you get to choose 2 free ones off the floor also.' If you know me, you know I will never be able to watch that many movies. UGH... not too mention the time it is going to take to have the children find something else they want. But, free is free, so we look and look and I can't even remember what they did choose, but they don't have to be back until Monday so maybe they will all get watched. And the cost $2.65. Seriously, I paid $2.65 for 5 movies.

Next time I'll tell you all about the movie I rented last week. Thought it was a love story happily ever after type movie, NOT. Revolutionary Road is the title and I was very mad after I watched it. So I gave it to me sister-in-law to see if my reactions were warranted or not. I'll let you know.

In God's Love, sheila & family

I Am Blessed....

2009-08-17T14:27:00.005-04:00

God is moving me out of my comfort zone and security this past year and many things have come only by faith. God continues to amaze me and strengthen me, daily. Where would I be without him? Where would I be if left on my own, where would my children be? You know what, it doesn't matter, because I'm not left on my own, I'm not without direction and my children do come with a manual, it's called the Bible. Thank you Lord.

How have I been able to support our family, GOD, seriously, he has stretched my $ in more ways than I can count. And it's not only financially.

I have been blessed to be employed at Fredwal Inc. for 14 yrs. I spoke with our contracts man the other day and as I told him we were ending and I even had a new job, he wished me well. He then also started to laugh and said 'oh boy, watch out for the ladies'. For the past 14 yrs I have worked with engineers, men engineers. These men were also retired engineers, meaning they were from the era of respect for women, hard-work, and just plain common courtsey. God has sheltered me, I realized. Then fear began to creep in....what if they are catty and gossipy. What if I don't fit in, oh, the flashbacks of high school.

But, guess what, that doesn't matter to me. I prayed for direction about this job or any job for that matter and even turned a couple down, until this one came along. For some reason, this is where I am to be, for a season. If I am able to shine a light for Jesus in a college setting, great, if God is trying to teach me another lesson, great.

I'll follow, he leads, and it is not up to me to make sure it turns out how I think it should. Learning this little nuget of information has been priceless. What a load off my shouldars. I am not responsible for God. I am responsible TO him not for him. I don't have to make excuses of why something did happen or didn't. I don't have to know the beginning from the end. I'm only me and that is good enough for God, so how could it not be good enough for me.

In God's Love, sheila

and in case you were missing the

I'll just say for the record, that I did not leave a tooth in the kitchen drawer during Family Camp in Houghton. I mean, I know exactly what to do with a tooth when it falls out. The toothfairy comes and takes it and you get money. I mean, ideally that's what happens. What happens at your house?

How Do You Know Your Having a Nervous Breakdown?

2009-08-10T09:15:00.002-04:00

Seriously, some things you just cannot make up..... Life has become complicated, again. But we perservere, with great friends and a mighty God.

I had some alone time yesterday, almost an hour... That really was alot, so after wandering the house a bit I decided to go in the pool. I debated for the first 10 minutes though, I mean it was almost 7:00 and I knew the kiddies would be home soon, but wow, summer had finally hit and it was muggy....

So I grab a devotional book and headed out. We have a small blow-up pool serving as a relaxing chair (cost-effective) and I get in (the water was not warm, but it was good), so I begin to float around and I'm looking up at the sky and I see a 'silver-lining' on some clouds. Seriously. I begin to laugh outloud, well aware that I have no one to blame this on and that is when the thought hits me, 'Do people know they are having a nervous breakdown while they are having one', well, I decide, I would know and I'm not.

My prayer starts out something like, God, I don't know what is going on, I don't understand it, but I have a peace, I have joy and I know I am not alone......Thank you Jesus......

Now, does that sound like someone who is being pushed over the edge, nah I didn't think so.

Then I open that devotional book I had brought out, hehehe, hold tight things get even better.... The passage is talking about taking care of yourself just as Jesus did. The passage they used is when Jesus was healing and after some time he got in the boat and left to go to the other side. He needed to take care of himself, pray, and even though there may have still been some people that needed healing, Jesus did what he needed to.

So here I was, alone, floating in my pool, alone, realizing again how much God loves me and knows everything that is going on and if I had any doubts about whether or not I should allow my children to go to a friends for a few hours or do everything I possibly can by myself, God answered. He knew what I was thinking and feeling.

I'll leave you with this one picture I took at Houghton. I had been reading this book for a few weeks at bedtime and this afternoon Owen just had to have my books and fell asleep. And to be quite honest I'm finding Job a little exhausting myself.

In God's Love, sheila

Oh, by the way, I got the job, YAHOOO

Let's just keep things light for today

2009-08-03T10:56:00.014-04:00

I've started 3 different post this week and they all seemed to have an underlying 'heaviness'.

So, I've started over again. But, let me give a praise, I found my a copy of my original resume, just in time for an upcoming interview, which went well. Hallejuiah, that's a tough word to spell, I'll have to stump Serena on it. That girl is good at spelling..

So I'll leave you with some really funny photos of Refresh '09 and whatever else I want to. Enjoy...

Ice cream - Day 1

I'm sure our neighbors were loving us..

What a stinker

The day after we got back we had our nephew's graduation party. What a great time we had and the kids loved being with their cousins.

A very sorry attempt at a pyramid.

the flower bed here was gorgeous

Then, of course, the older boys played hard
(notice Tommy standing back taking it all in)

So Dad had to join in too...

COUSINS....which one is which....

I could of sat here with a good book and just watched all the fun,

does that show my age....

In God's Love, sheila

All Set To Go....

2009-07-26T09:17:00.002-04:00

Well, we are almost ready for Houghton. Cleaned, Packed, & reminded Tommy 'No peeing outside...' Why is it when you give a reminder of this type, all the loopholes have to get covered. For example:

What if we are driving down and Tommy has to go real bad and there's no bathroom around (thank you Serena) or

What if we are out in the rope course and Tommy has to use the bathroom (thank you Abby)

What if I'm standing next to a tree (thank you Tommy)

I'm sure we will have a great week and be spiritual feed some good stuff. Hope to share it all with ya when I get back.

In God's Love, sheila

Dragging My Feet

2009-07-23T09:37:00.014-04:00

Do you ever have something you know you need to do, but are really dragging your feet on?

Well, I lost my resume and I need to make a new one. I usually make a copy of it to take on the interviews with me. I tried to do this but my printer was running out of ink and only shot out a 1/2 readable page which I crumbled up and threw away (oh why did I do that) and went onto my interview, taking my last one and only copy. Not too big of a deal considering I can just print out a copy from the computer. However, I search my computer, I search my work computer, I look on my backups and IT"S NOT THERE.... UGH...

Now this really wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't a really good resume. It was really good. Now I'm left with trying to re-create something that in no way will measure up. And just to prove that point, I have spent two days jotting down things that were on the last one and it's just not coming together. This is, of course, after spending a week and a half looking for this lost file. What a waste of time, yet if you seeing pulling apart drawers, it's got to be somewhere, I just know it.

And because inquiring minds wanted to know (or at least Sharon asked) here are some great photos of our camping trip. Good memories, some rough spots, but overall it was good. I'll let you know more about that later (abby, Mcdonalds & one long car ride = NOT GOOD...)

Everyone has to help..

Is this just not the cutest.....
Look at the shock on his face, he was loving it....

and the determination, even the boy behind was impressed. Alas, it got away. Truth be told, I'm not sure there was even anything there. Serena proved to be quite the fishermen (fisherwomen, girl, lady).

And I've decided that I am not going out of the house without sunglasses, how cool are they?? I think they make my nose look smaller.

Don't feel too bad for us, the sun did peek through a bit...

And even the clouds didn't stop the kids from swimming...

This is one group picture we took.. 9 kids, 9 and under, Abby was the oldest.

Creating Memories.....

How do you purposely try to create memories for your family. And hey did you check out that ticker.....more family memories...

Refresh '09 (Formerly Houghton Family Camp)

In God's Love, sheila

Do I hear God in the whisper?

2009-07-16T09:57:00.022-04:00

Thank you so much for all your prayers over the weekend. They were much needed and much felt.

I was reading a devotional this morning, well first I was reading the Bible about the Prophet Elijah and when he ran and called out to God to let him die, it is too hard, he is the only one left. Elijah knew the God of fire and earthquake and furious wind, but did he know him in the whisper?

Back to the devotional, it focused on Psalm 84:5-7 (MSG),
5-7 And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain! God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn—Zion! God in full view!

Psalm 84:5-7 (Amplified Bible)
5Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. 6Passing through the Valley of Weeping (Baca), they make it a place of springs; the early rain also fills [the pools] with blessings. 7They go from strength to strength [increasing in victorious power]; each of them appears before God in Zion.

My favorite part of these verses is ‘whose lives become roads you travel’….

I want my life to be a road God travels daily; I know there are lonesome valleys, places of springs, but did I know that I could go from strength to strength ‘increasing in victorious power’ until that day we appear in full view of God.

We had another funeral this past week. A close friend’s 20 yr old son died. Did he ever accept Christ into his life? Do they have the hope and assurance? Oh Lord…my heart hurts for them.

My sister spoke at the funeral and afterwards I was talking with the Grandmother and she was just amazed at my sister trying to give comfort and the strength that she showed. Only in Christ do we have any strength at this time, only in Christ can we have the hope of one day being with those sweet loved boys. Only in Christ can we offer hope and comfort to others. I hope they saw that, I pray there was a glimmer of Christ in us that showed through.

And now as we go on our annual camping trip, it's with eagerness and some aniexty about how this year is going to be so different. I thank God for the wonderful memories we have of last year and pray we can continue to enjoy this great time together. Here are some pictures of last year...Enjoy and I hope you are taking the time to make some family memories of your own.... In God's Love, sheila

This is one of the last pictues we have of all 7 children together.

Bubbles are always fun....at any age.

Here's a picture of Sondra, Brandon, and Sarah (aren't they the coolest?) Is it just me or is this picture just screaming out for a caption. Help me out, all I can come up with is: See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil... but someone must be more clever than me...? What are your thoughts.

Playing some hokey pokey had never been so fun.

Actually I just noticed all 7 kids are here too, Pat is carrying Owen in the backpack, lol...

Not Me Monday, 7-14, of course today is Tuesday though

2009-07-14T14:27:00.005-04:00

Are you feeling guilty for not changing your children's bedsheets for weeks on end? Cringe if a car goes by and your taking out your trash not dressed up to par? Overcome with embarrassment after your child breaks something in public or worse won't listen to you? We'll don't be! Not Me! Monday was born out of a desire to admit some of our imperfections (but only some) and reveal a few moments I'd rather forget (only a few). You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

So let's see what I didn't do the past week:

I didn’t try to be so cute as to swing my husband in that hammock and then jump on only to have us both fall flat on our backs, because, of course, Curves is working very well for me.

I also would never tell my daughter to hurry up eating so her brother could use her plate, just because I had already did the dishes. I know all about germs.

And because safety is truly a concern of mine, I would never give my prim & proper girls the sled to slid down a mudslide with. Not Me!! (Rest assured no one was hurt and I really did stop them before they shoved Owen down it.)

I also would never change in the van because I was pressed for time and wanted to get to Target. I also wouldn’t allow my little one to use my skirt as pillow and even if I did do that, which I didn’t, I wouldn’t then take him to church and lay him on the floor using my skirt as a blanket. Of course I wouldn’t. I am always prepared.

And I never, no never, go shopping without a list and an agenda. That is just asking for trouble. Like maybe realizing you just spent $35 on batteries for everything electronic in your entire house. Not needed, Not Me!!

We will be going camping this weekend. A much needed camping trip; and I may or may not have invited too many people.

Don't have a blog or too chicken to leave your Not Me's there? Just leave your Not Me's in the comments of this post so we can all enjoy them. I know you got them, we all do.

In God's Love, sheila

Birthday with the King

2009-07-11T00:00:00.000-04:00

Daydon is having his birthday with the King this year. This is not what we planned or the road we want to walk. But while we miss and hurt, we grieve with hope.

We will be with them far longer than they were with us. Thank you Jesus.

We'll be together again, and our love will be made perfect.

July 11, 1981

2009-07-10T09:45:00.000-04:00

Where were you on July 11, 1981?

When news came out that my mom was expecting a baby, I was less than thrilled. I was 10. Not looking forward to all the changes I envisioned needed to be made for the little bundles arrival. Yes, selfishness comes to mind now. I never gave it a thought about a girl or boy, I mean a baby is a baby, it didn’t much matter to me.

But then she came. July 11, 1981. My baby SISTER. OK, I suppose if she had to be one or the other, a girl was a good choice. I already had a brother. Sure she was cute and cuddly. But she was also a lot of work. And then it turns out, she likes me. Well, let’s put it into perspective, she worships me. Everywhere I went, she would cry to come, when I would wake up in the morning, there I would find her, cuddled up right next to me. They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, so they say.

Truth be told, we grew and loved each other as a little sisters and big sisters do. I certainly was not always a good example for her. But she looked beyond my faults.

There were times when I overstepped my ‘sisterly’ advice and times when she played the ‘little’ sister card. Our relationship has been on so many levels, it’s funny to look back now and think of the funny things I could get her to do. She did them, not because she really wanted to, but because she wanted to make her big sister smile and laugh. And there were many times she did that. There have been many times I have been very proud to be her sister. Our roles changed as we became parents. We took a more girlfriend (equals) role, although I would never fully relinquish my role of Big Sister. We shared all. There is no one else I would rather share the experiences of motherhood with. We have been with each other for ever life-changing event that has come our way.

And now we in different roles again. I enjoyed the previous role, very much. I’m not sure what role we are at this point. It’s fuzzy and gray. I wish I could make her smile and laugh. I know that she has to find her own way through this and I know God sees her right where she is at. He is a patient, loving God.

I can’t make things better for her, I can’t change what has happened, but I can pray for her.

And so as Saturday will be extremely difficult for her, I am asking for prayers for her. Please pray for protection, and peace. Pray she will sense God is near and her boys are well, very well.

Happy Birthday Sondra, I love you with all my heart. sheila

July 4th

2009-07-08T10:39:00.000-04:00

This past week has been hard, really hard. I’ve been missing the boys so much. Sondra spent the day at our house on Weds. and it was nice to have her over for a couple hours. We kept things light and easy. There were a few times when we talked about the upcoming 4th of July which led us to what we did last year and the year before.

I’ve noticed she has been spending more time with Owen than the other children. I wonder if it hurts too much to be around Abby, Serena, & Tommy. They love her so much.

Friday came and I was moody and it was the 3rd . Eight months ago on the third the boys were getting off the bus at my house and playing and laughing. No matter how much I tried, I could not push thoughts away. I would look at the clock and remember what I was doing at that moment 8 mths ago, it was an emotional day.

We went to Olcott for the fireworks. It was hard not having them around somewhere to share in the laughter and fun. As the fireworks started Tommy asked me if I thought Day-Day could see them. I wanted to tell him about the galaxy and shooting stars and how much more Day-Day has than us, but time did not permit and so I kissed the top of his head and said that I am sure Day-Day’s fireworks are sooo much better and bigger. Pleased with my answer and thinking I made him feel better, I looked at him looking at me and he said, ‘Momma, there’s no night in Heaven.’….ummmmm, he got me. I think as I tuck him in this week, we will talk about the galaxy and shooting stars and the all the wonders God created.

The 4th is here, UGH…. Should be filled with joy and happiness but there is such a heaviness hanging I can’t shake it. We have plans to go to a parade, I’m wondering how I can get out of it. I just know that I can’t go and pretend to be happy when all I want is this day to be over. Seems everybody is feeling the crankiness and stress so we head home for a nap and opt out of the parade. The boys feel asleep after little protest and I got up. Not too sure what to do, I was tired but couldn’t rest, so I went out to the hammock. I am beginning to enjoy that thing. Great Father’s Day present it was.

As I was swinging out there, I began crying again and this time I let myself cry, really cry. I was hurting. It has been 8 mths since I have seen them, hugged them or heard their voices. I began to talk with God and pray. I was staring up at the sky searching for something and after some time my mind began to flood with memories, memories of them and us and after each memory there would be a smile on my face. I was filled with a peace inside. I want to continue looking ahead, this is not our home.

Romans 8:28-39

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Please continue to pray for my family as this week goes on. It is a hard one. In God’s Love, sheila

Not Me Monday

2009-07-06T10:44:00.000-04:00

I would never have a meltdown just because the prescriptions we had been waiting for over the 4th of July weekend got dropped off at the wrong pharmacy. Nope, not me, I tend to go with the flow. I also would never order pizza just so I didn’t have to make even the simpliest of decisions. Nope, not me. Also, I always strive for comfort when dressing, I would never wear a cute pair of capris only to realize they are not too cute sitting on the ground watching the fireworks. Or perhaps it was the equally cute belt that may or may not have been one notch too tight. Nope, not me. I always go for comfort. I also did not feed my 4 yr old cotton candy and marvel at his amazement of it. That stuff is pure junk. I also didn’t go stalk down a friend to help with the kids cause Mr. Wonderful really didn’t feel like going and dealing with the crowds. And of course I didn’t pout or act like a wounded bird, Nope, not me. I tend to be understanding to a fault. I also didn’t ask my oldest 27 times if she was sure she wanted to stay home too. Nope, not me, I can handle a ‘No’ without feeling rejected.

I also don't secretly wonder how much gas we waste with the a/c on and the window down in the van. And of course I would never switch it off even though I know my other half wants it on. And I wouldn't be silently screaming, 'do up the windoooow', no, not me, my communication is much better than that.

I also may or may not be glad when soccer season is over. I am the most reserved parent watching, even when my 7 yr old is all over the field playing very well or when my 4 yr old scores (in his own net). Nope, not loud cheering on the home team from me; just quietly smiling. I also didn’t completely forget to get Mr. 4 yr old out of the church nursery during Sunday school, nope not me, I always know where my children are. So if you really know me, you'll know the areas I need prayer in. Thanks. In God's Love, sheila

Lessons My Husband Is Teaching...who knew...

2009-07-02T11:15:00.000-04:00

We just finished up softball for the season. Pat has been coaching both daughters this year. It’s been fun, and I am glad it’s over. Now we are onto Soccer. Yes, he is coaching Abby’s team. Now how do I go in between Tommy’s team and Serena’s team and watch Abby’s. UGH…..A sport’s mom, I am not….. I should be home in the hammock with Owen. We would enjoy that.

Back to the lessons taught in softball, which were really good lessons, I just didn’t know it at the time. Life lessons were being taught by my husband and I had no idea. Go figure. Pat kept trying to have the girls ‘know what you’re going to do with the ball before it gets to you’. Because, let’s be honest, once the ball comes their way, they tend to get a little flustered and everyone is screaming directions at them. It’s too confusing for me and I’m in the dugout (love being part of the cheering section).

The Lesson: We went to a graduation party and we had so much fun being with family & friends. Some that I have not seen in quite some time. In the midst of the day there were times when I was offered a ‘fun’ drink; when I thought, ummmm…for about a second and a half. But because, at a point in my life, I had learned what I was going to do with the ball, before it got to me, I was not caught off guard.

So I laughed, said ‘no thanks’ again, walked away and had a great time.
Would it of hurt me? Would it of hurt my family? Would I have had more fun? Would it of been fine and no harm done? I don’t know, but I do know that when Jesus rescued me from the life I had previously, I knew I never wanted to be there again. It is not worth it for me. And did I mention what a wonderful, family time we had. It truly was a great evening.

Happy 4th of July to all and remember to count the cost...love, sheila

PS: in case your wondering (the dirt pile is just getting bigger and the boys are loving it.)

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Not Me, Monday

2009-06-29T11:35:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So being the prim and proper Mommy that I am I would never laugh as I tried to teach my children (9,7,4) the correct body terminology. I would never blush as I read a book to my oldest daughter about her body, nope, not me.

And of course I would stop my son from saying 'Nakey' instead of the proper term, penis. I would also not allow my son to make fun of his new found terms in such a way: Mary, has a nakey, nakey, nakey, nakey. (clearly I was not very clear on who had what.) And I would definitely re-think my whole parenting skills as my 4 yr says in his most scared voice: 'ooooh there's a vagina in the house', whereas his too-smart-for-her-own-good sister says 'Duh, Tommy, of course, there's lots in the house.' (We are a 3 girl, 3 boy family.) None of this makes me cringe or blush, Nope, Not me.

I also don't have a sore back from playing too much volleyball this weekend and acting like I was much younger than I really am, Nope, Not me. I also wouldn't neglect our new little puppy just because he was outside and all wet. Nope, not me.

I also didn't cry real tears at a high-school graduation this weekend as I looked at a young girl I knew since she was born and then thought of my own and how fast it has already went.

Have a great day.. sheila

Dirt, Mud & Boys

2009-06-26T10:10:00.000-04:00

June 26, 2009

The digging has begun....I have prayed about this building project for quite sometime now. Is it the right thing to do... even though God had clearly showed me several years ago, an addition that never even seemed possible, but is now becoming a reality. Thank you Lord. There are moments where I have to take a deep breath and trust. Trust we are doing the right thing, trust the stress will not be too much and trust our God is bigger than two extra bedrooms. To God be the glory.

So as we progress forward, our boys have found their second love (mommy is still first.) How will I ever keep them clean enough to go somewhere? I use to laugh (before I had two little boys) and shake my head when my sister would get so frustrated with her boys getting dirty. See, my girls, I could send them outside before school to play, they could play on the swingset before church... But not my nephews. And Sondra knew; I however, had no idea why the boys couldn't just play and stay clean until it was time to go. Sondra knew something I would come to know a few years later. Little boys, no matter how much they are told or how much they want to obey (yes, I still believe they want to obey), will inevitably gravitate towards sometype of dirt, water, mud. It's just the way God made them. Now that I have this new found information, what will I do with it? Keep them in the house all summer, 4-5 baths a day, or tell them to clean off in the kiddie pool before coming in the house, now I ask you what would you all do. In God's Love, sheila

So this Is Blogging....

2009-06-22T11:56:00.000-04:00

Just checking out the style and layout... May actually be easier than my so-outdated homepage. Sorry, Owen (fourth baby) I just have not had time to add your pics, yet, somewhat like your baby book and your Two Year Old pics.... UGH...But I love ya...